


Friendly Fire

by Hertz



Series: Murder Space Gays [1]
Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Black Comedy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26767840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hertz/pseuds/Hertz
Summary: A human impostor and an alien impostor are both determined to prove they’re the best assassin around. However, they discover feelings for each other along the way.
Relationships: Cyan/Purple (Among Us), Impostor/Impostor (Among Us)
Series: Murder Space Gays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969033
Comments: 161
Kudos: 645





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the different kill animations you can get in the game.

“Alright guys.” The self appointed leader of the Skeld, Green, tapped their pen against their task list. “We’ve received intel from headquarters that there may be an impostor running around this ship, so we should put into a place a buddy system. No one is to go alone.”

Cyan sighed. Crap, crap, crap. Just their luck to be stuck on a ship with an actually competent crew. If everyone was going together, there wouldn’t be a convenient time for them to break off from their buddy, and they’d almost certainly have to fight the crewmates two on one…

“I’ll buddy up with Cyan here.” Cyan lurched forward with the sheer force of the clap across their back. Another arm stabilised them, preventing their fall, and Cyan caught a flash of purple out of the corner of their eye.

Green shrugged dismissively. “Yeah, sure, okay,” they said, walking off and instructing the rest of the crew members.

Cyan tried to pay attention to the listings, memorising who was with who and doing what, but they had the distinct feeling Purple was staring at them from underneath their helmet. Finally, everyone stepped away in pairs to do their tasks. Cyan turned to Purple, wondering how best to slip a knife into their back, when Purple grabbed them by the arm roughly and dragged them along.

“Woah, woah, woah! What are you doing? I haven’t even done anything yet!”

“Oh, shut up,” said Purple as they ducked into the med bay, rudely throwing Cyan on one of the beds. “Keep your voice down, we don’t want to be found.”

“What the hell is your deal?” Cyan snapped, adjusting themselves upright.

Purple pretended like they hadn’t heard that. “Okay, look, you and me, we need a plan to take out all of these idiots.”

“Wait… _you_? You too?” Cyan jerked backwards in shock. “Wait. I thought I was…”

“The only one? Course not.” Cyan could see the glint of sharp teeth under Purple’s helmet as they smiled. “Listen, human, the plan is you be a good little assassin and stay out of my way, okay?”

“Hey! I am _very_ experienced!”

“How many ships have you successfully sabotaged?” Purple asked coolly.

“...one out of one.” Cyan stood up, glaring at them. “But that’s a hundred percent win rate and this will be the second! I swear!”

“It will be if you just quiet down and let me work,” Purple retorted. Their torso unravelled to reveal a giant jaw. On their torso. Okay, this was definitely weird.

“Holy shit dude, you’re an -”

“Shut up!” Purple hissed. “Yes, and I can handle all the bloody stuff while you get to claim my victory as yours.”

“I can be useful!”

“What even is your weapon, punk?”

Cyan hoped their glare was communicated clearly through their tinted glass helmets. They pulled out their gun.

“Get rid of that, the sound will alert literally everyone in the entire station.”

Cyan sighed and stuffed the gun back into their pocket. Now extremely irritated, they slammed their knife down in front of the smug alien impostor. 

“This actually works?” Purple picked it up and turned the knife around in their hands.

“Not everyone’s a flashy showoff like you, okay?” Cyan frowned. “Simple and practical goes a long way.”

“What other ‘simple and practical’ tricks do you have?”

Cyan’s body was trembling from anger as they let out an irritated growl. Who the hell did they think they were? “Snap their neck,” Cyan replied, holding up their hands to demonstrate. “Easy, clean, you can even claim they’re just sleeping for a while.”

Purple seemed a little more interested now, at least. Nodding in approval, they said, “Alright, then, you can distract them while I swoop in for the kill.”

Cyan placed their hands on their head. They would be tugging hair out if not for being restricted to being in this damn bright flashy suit. In one swift strike, Cyan brandished their knife and pointed it directly at Purple’s throat. “What part of I. Am. Competent. Do you not understand?”

“You really think you’re better than me?” The infuriating alien still spoke in that same smug tone. “You’re nowhere near as strong as I am. I bet you’d tremble your human hands off at the prospect of even touching one of your own kind, _oh_ , the horror!”

“I so totally can!” Cyan had had enough. They grabbed Purple by the shoulders, wrenching them forward so Purple could see Cyan’s glare through the glass. “Let’s go,” Cyan said slowly. “We kill every single person on this ship. We’ll do it together, and at the end of this, we’ll see which of us is more worthy of the title of imposter.”

Purple studied the human’s face before a large grin split across their own face, revealing a single eye and sharp, jagged teeth. “ _Deal_ ,” they hissed in a vaguely echoing voice, tongue slithering out. Cyan was suddenly very aware they had just challenged some fucking demon alien thing to a horrible game of tag.

“Well,” said Cyan stiffly, standing up and making to walk out of the med bay.

“Over here,” Purple called in a sing-song voice tauntingly. Cyan turned to look and realised Purple was in the vents, their body partially dissolved. Their tentacle hand hybrid thing was waving at them. “Or maybe you _can’t_?” Purple asked a little too innocently.

Cyan clenched their fists. “Okay, whatever, you smug ass, have fun going through all the toxic shit in there while I reach Electrical first.” Not bothering to wait for a reply, Cyan spun on their heels. They dashed through the hallways of the ship, swiftly and silently.


	2. Chapter 2

Purple was there first.

Cyan glowered at the alien and was about to make another remark when they put a finger to where their lips would be if they were human. Both imposters turned, and noticed the duo of Pink and Yellow fixing wires in the room.

Purple pointed to themself, then to the right. They were going for Pink then. Cyan nodded, focusing on Yellow.

Both impostors crept in quietly. Cyan was at a disadvantage due to their bright suit colour, so they had to act fast. They reached into their pocket, retrieved the knife, and stabbed Yellow in the back all in one smooth motion. Yellow’s legs crumpled as they fell to the ground. 

Pink had noticed Cyan, though they still seemed too stunned to react. In a split second, Purple had snapped to Pink’s body and pierced their head with a tongue that erupted from their weird jaw torso thing. Pink fell to the ground still clutching their head, equal parts blood and drool pooling in a puddle next to them.

Cyan kicked both bodies behind the light box to shadow the corpses from anyone passing by. They shot Purple a challenging stare. Purple shrugged. “Eh, you were alright, I guess. Don’t get so happy about it.”

“Oh, we’ll see who’s just _alright_ after all this,” Cyan seethed. “What have you got without your tongue?”

“Don’t need anything else.” Purple shrugged. “Humans never expect an attack from the stomach.” 

“Okay, fine, but let’s stick together for now. It’s going to look really suspicious if we go off by ourselves again. That means no. Vents.” Cyan gestured at said vent nearby for emphasis.

“Ugh.” Purple looked towards the ceiling in exasperation. “Humans, always so bossy - hey!”

It was Cyan’s turn to grab Purple by the hand. They could just _feel_ Purple rolling their eyes, but they didn’t care. The satisfaction of managing to catch Purple off guard was enough. 

"What do we do now?" Cyan whispered as they yanked Purple along. They crossed over to the other side and made sure to walk into view of the admin hallway camera from the direction opposing electrical.

"The best part is when they vote themselves off," Purple snickered, "I say we let them find the bodies and start yelling at each other."

"Or we kill everyone on the ship before -"

"A dead body!" screamed a voice that sounded like White's from down the hallway. 

"Oh my god oh my god there's another one oh fuck." And that mad chanting sounded like Brown.

Everyone, having heard the commotion, came rushing by. Green was looking concerned. "Where were all of you?" they demanded.

"Cyan and I were just heading from the med bay," Purple offered first. "We were inspecting samples."

"Those do take a long time," White conceded.

Everyone else gave their own alibis, and Green finally nodded, looking thoughtful. "This looks like a double kill. Travelling in pairs might not be a great idea if there are two impostors around."

"Do we know there are two impostors?" Brown asked. "Maybe one overpowered them?"

"That's pretty suspicious of you to point that out, especially since you and White found the dead body," Red accused, pointing a finger at them. "How do we know you two aren't the killers?"

"What?" White stepped forward. "I'd never do that!"

"That's exactly what an impostor would say!"

Purple elbowed Cyan and nodded in the direction of the crewmates. Cyan didn't need to see their face to know what a kick they were probably getting out of it. Honestly, it was pretty funny.

"Alright, you two cut it out until we have enough evidence," Green stepped between Red and White, pushing them apart. "We finish our tasks for today and head to the bunks, okay?"

"Fine," Red gritted out, still staring at White. White stared back, not saying anything. Slowly, everyone dispersed. Green and their partner Black groaned in disgust before they left to grab corpse cleaning supplies.

"Hilarious," Purple whispered with a smile as both impostors crept away to storage.

"Did you see the look on White's face?" Cyan sniggered. "I didn't _dooo_ it, I'm not the impostor, fuck you!" Then they realised what they were doing.

Cyan stepped back and pushed Purple away with one arm. "Ew, gross man, we're bonding." They were sticking their tongue out in disgust. Not that Purple could see that.

"So we are," Purple agreed, shrugging.

"Ew, that's weird. We hate each other."

"Alright, punk, but I gotta admit, you got spunk." Purple made two finger guns at Cyan. Cyan glared at them.

"Your jokes are lamer than your kills."

"Ugh, always so quick to belittle others," Purple groaned. "Just saying, you really have enthusiasm. Wanting to off the whole ship in a day? Fucking glorious, you magnificent bastard."

"It means I have _aspirations_ , unlike you." Cyan sniffed and crossed their arms haughtily.

"But we want the same thing, don't we?" Purple crept closer, and strangely enough, bowed. Cyan did not pull away as Purple's now deceptively human looking face smirked up at them. "I'd say we'd make a great team if you'd give me the chance."

"Finally," Cyan scoffed, trying not to seem too relieved… or even comforted, accepted. No way did they need an alien douchebag's approval. They'd never see each other again after this anyway. "Realising you need a human's help?"

"Yes. Yours. I am a delicate creature and require utmost assistance." Was Purple batting their eyelashes at Cyan? "Don't get too cocky. I still have my eye on you, newbie."

Back to normal again, was it? "Ugh. I'll help you because you're just that horrible and you'd _annoy_ me to death," Cyan grumbled. "So, for starters, we definitely need to get rid of Green. They're the only one with brains on this entire ship."

"It'll have to be tomorrow or even in a few days," said Purple, retreating so they could casually observe the items in storage. "Everyone's on edge right now and accusatory."

"I say we storm their bunk."

"Are you an idiot? We need to wait till we have an alibi."

"No, we wait till everyone's asleep and then we sneak in, stab Green and sneak back out ninja style," Cyan hissed under their breath, slapping their palm against their fist. "We need to do it quickly, before they come up with more actually good strategies."

Purple considered their options, staring at Cyan. "You're not as stupid as I thought."

"You're not as smart as _I_ thought."

"Watch it before I behead you next," Purple hissed. Cyan took a step back as Purple's torso jaw thing opened up and a tentacle tongue lashed out at them. 

"Sorry," Cyan muttered mutinously.

Purple shook their head, human disguise reforming. "Smartass remarks aside, I'm in, brat. Who do we blame it on?"

"Let's see who's awake, then." A smirk crept onto Cyan's lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Cyan felt themself being shaken awake. "Mmph, I'm tired," they groaned, rolling over and coming face to face with a giant tentacled monster on the ceiling, all sharp teeth and dripping drool.

"Oh," said Cyan, stupefied. "What's up, Purple?"

"I knew you would've slept the whole night away if I didn't wake you," Purple whispered, shifting back into their unsuspecting astronaut disguise. They seemed a little put off that Cyan hadn't reacted harder to their true form, so they tossed in a barbed quip. "I can't believe how much sleep your kind needs daily."

"What the fuck, dude, we agreed on 3am," Cyan grumbled. They blinked rapidly, trying to clear the hazy fog of sleepiness. "I feel like I _just_ fell asleep."

"Well, it's 2:45, which you'd know if you could see the clock on the wall," Purple sneered. "Tough luck. Get your ass up, we've got a job to do."

Annoyed and now a little embarrassed, Cyan simply nodded. In the dark, they scrabbled for their knife, just as a precaution. They couldn't afford to turn on the lights and give away the fact they were awake to anyone that may be out there, so Cyan's search was rather fruitless.

Purple watched for a few more seconds before they reached for the knife and placed it in Cyan's hand with an impatient grunt. "You dropped this," they said in that ever insufferable tone.

Cyan was ninety nine percent sure that Purple was giving them a snide smile even though all they could see was two glowing purple eyes. "Whatever," was the best response they could come up with as they pried Purple's hand off their own. Like being able to see in the dark was really all that cool.

"Let's go," Cyan said quickly, not bothering to thank Purple. They stood up and instantly stumbled over the bag they had left on the ground.

Okay, fine, maybe it was a teensy bit cool.

"Halt your bumbling antics," Purple whispered. "We don't want anyone to wake up or overhear us."

" _Thank_ you, oh wise impostor of the vent," Cyan muttered as they slipped on their boots. "Your jack o' lantern eyes are _not_ suspicious at all, totally."

Purple peered closer at Cyan, perhaps about to ask what a jack o' lantern was, before they decided against it and shut their eye lights off. “I’d use the vents if I wasn’t so afraid of your terrible night vision screwing this up,” they muttered darkly.

"Okay, okay. So we go to Green's and decide how to take care of them," Cyan whispered, and Purple nodded. Both impostors crept out, sticking to the heaviest shadows whenever possible. Cyan walked on tiptoe, while Purple seemed to slide along with effortless grace. Cyan caught themself glancing over at their fellow impostor a few times out of curiosity for their elegant movements.

To their chagrin, Green was actually awake, pacing back and forth with a lamp lit on their desk. Their body language was relaxed and they seemed to be writing notes of some kind in their little pad, so Green hadn't heard them coming. This still meant no discussing, though.

Purple withdrew, pointed at themselves, and pointed inside Green's quarters. Cyan pointed to themself three times indignantly. Purple just gave a slight shake of their head before they were gone in a flash. Caught off guard, Cyan could only let out a few choice swears in their mind unless they wanted to alert Green of their presence.

Green, who was apparently being gagged, as the muffled quality of their indignant sounds were telling Cyan. Cyan sighed, closed their eyes, wrapped their hands behind their back, and tried to get some sleep. Who the fuck wakes people up fifteen minutes early? Purple, that’s who. And since they obviously didn’t need them, they would take this opportunity while Purple did their dirty work. Cyan felt themselves dozing off to the sounds of growls and hisses and clangs of metal.

...wait, Purple hadn’t taken this long to kill Pink.

Cyan forced themself to snap out of their sleepy stupor. They snuck a peek into Green’s quarters. They saw Purple in all their alien, terrifying glory, black tentacles strewn about and the dim light reflecting off… were those scales? Their stomach was split open to show a full row of threatening teeth, yet in the center of it all was Green, heavily bleeding and still standing strong. They had some sort of large meteorite in their hand that they were waving around, and Cyan watched as Green stomped hard on one of Purple’s tentacles and made for Purple’s one eye. They hissed and avoided the attack, tentacles reaching for Green. Once they did, however, Green aimed the meteorite in their direction and Purple was forced to switch the direction of their attack.

Cyan had to help.

“Green!” they whispered as they came running into the quarters. “I heard something. What’s going on… oh fuck!” Cyan pointed at Purple and made their body stand stiff. “What the fuck is that?”

“It’s the impostor!” Green’s eyes were wide in relief. “My bunks were so far away, I didn’t think anyone would come! Cyan, we need to fight them off quickly, before they kill everyone else!”

“Gotcha,” Cyan replied, running to Green. They caught Purple’s eye and for a second, they shared a glance. Purple snarled at Cyan, who pretended to retreat a few steps behind Green for safety.

“If we take on the impostor two to one, we might both have a chance to get out of this alive -“

Cyan stabbed Green in their back, making sure to twist it painfully at the right angle. Green’s head and body went slack, knife and meteorite slipping out of their hands as their body hit the ground.

Cyan knelt down, picked up the meteorite, and gave Purple a look. “Don’t need anything but your tongue, huh?”

“Oh shut up, brat, you just finished my job,” Purple snapped, the tentacles coming together and reforming into the familiar astronaut suit. “I had them!”

“Finished it better than you, faster than you, more efficient than you.” Cyan waved the stupid rock at Purple, who hissed and flinched away, arms braced. “You had them, huh? What’s that about humans being weak again?” Cyan asked, smirking.

“If you touched something that made all of the sorry skin on your skeleton melt off you’d understand.” Purple placed their arms back down just to cross them and fix Cyan with a glare. “Okay, I concede. You get one point on our scoreboard.”

“So I did.” Cyan shrugged, dropping the meteorite almost too casually in Green’s trash bin. They caught Purple’s low growl and smiled. “Good thing they’re gone, huh? Imagine if they had time to actually teach everyone how to fight you off. Shit would be so much harder.” Cyan went to Green’s desk, searching it. “Woah, look at all of this alien kryptonite,” Cyan said, picking up a bottle of orange goo labelled ‘in case of blubber jelly aliens’.

“We need to sneak back now before we get caught,” Purple interrupted, obviously not caring. 

“Oh, shut it before you worry your ass off,” said Cyan, more for the sake of it than anything.

“I am acting reasonable and you are being a child.” Their voice echoed a little. So Purple was already outside the room and in a vent. Of course.

“But hey,” Purple said quietly as Cyan approached the vent they were in. “You’re not that bad. We worked well together. Thanks for watching my back.” And then they were gone.

Cyan stood over the vent, and oh, gross, are they smiling? They’re totally smiling. Ew, they were not happy that _Purple_ had just thanked them. Annoying proud son of a bitch.

Whatever, now was so not the time to think about Purple, they had some sneaking to do. Cyan rounded the corner, checking for any hapless crewmates that could be eliminated. When they found none, they felt a twinge of disappointment, before speeding in the direction of their own quarters.


	4. Chapter 4

Cyan was being shaken awake. _Again._

"What the fuck do you want now - "

"Dude, Green's dead!" Orange yelled, snapping their fingers directly next to Cyan's ear. "Get up! Now."

"...huh," said Cyan, who scrambled to put on their astronaut suit before heading outside with Orange. Okay, this was good, they were seeming really stupid. It was totally on purpose. Thank god they hadn't said Purple's name.

"So, uh, what happened again?" Cyan asked, adjusting the belt of their trousers. They heard Purple snicker softly and glared in their direction.

"I _literally_ just told you Green died," groaned Orange.

"In my defense, it's 6:30am in the morning and I'm tired as fuck," Cyan complained. "I can't process all this murder bullshit right now. Shit's a lot to take in, you know?"

"Okay, whatever. We woke up a few minutes ago," White said, pointing to themself and Orange, "and we found it super weird that Green wasn't at the cafeteria, since they're always super early. Turns out it's because they died."

"That's horrible!" gasped Cyan.

"Do we have any leads?" Purple asked.

White and Orange glanced at each other. "Well," said Orange, "We have no idea when Green died, maybe in the night or something. Or maybe it could have even been five minutes before we walked in?"

"Didn't you check out Green's corpse?" Blue asked.

"I mean… would you like to?" White asked, making a face of disgust.

"Good point."

"But it had to have happened before you two walked into the cafeteria," Purple pointed out. "Orange, you were waking all of us up just now. Did you see anyone that wasn't present?"

Orange thought hard, looking at all of the crewmates in turn. "Wait, you're right. Where's Black?"

"It's gotta be Black!" Lime yelled. "They must have gone to clean their weapon and that's why they're missing!"

"Yeah!" Red called. "They were Green's partner too! Clearly enough time to know all about their weaknesses!"

"Everybody, let's split up and search for Black quicker!" White ordered.

Purple met Cyan's eyes. Cyan couldn't see their expression, but they were very, very sure it read something along the lines of _I can't believe how stupid these people are._ Cyan nodded their head once slightly.

"Well, my buddy Cyan and I are going to admin," Purple said out loud, "Maybe Black is there trying to erase evidence of their kill from security footage."

"Great idea!" White pointed at the pair. "Off you go!"

And they did, smiling at each other and speaking in hushed whispers along the way. 

"Man, they're really, really dumb, especially now that Green's gone," Cyan said under their breath, shaking in laughter. "It should get easier from now on."

"Yeah, almost as 'dumb' as you are," said Purple, making air quotes, turning that phrase directly against Cyan.

Cyan scowled at their partner. What had happened to 'we work well together' and all that mushy junk? "You try giving a shit about someone you barely knew who just died."

"You have no idea how harrowing that was, do you?" Purple groaned, their smile disappearing. "Thank fuck everyone here is just as incompetent as you are. I almost had to jump in to save you! They know the murder happened at night, and you were the sleepiest and most nonchalant about it."

"Huh," said Cyan. "You're right."

"I'm always right, you just hate listening to the painful truth."

"Truth, huh." Cyan smiled up at Purple innocently. "What was that about saving me? Couldn't bear to throw me under the bus, could you?"

"Shut up, punk," Purple snorted as they both entered admin. 

"The first thing they teach you in impostor school is to throw your partner under the bus if they're too suspicious," Cyan teased further, leaning in. "Or maybe you _don't_ know that after all?"

"Ugh, you don't know anything either! I can't believe I'm stuck with an idiot." Purple suddenly whipped back and snarled at Cyan, baring their true fangs before they retracted. "For the sake of the money back home, I'll… do it if I need to."

Cyan didn't reply, simply raising an eyebrow at their hesitance. Purple stubbornly refused to comment any further and strode to the comms.

Typing furiously, Purple tried to identify who was off all alone. Cyan took their place next to Purple. Black, apparently, was all by themself in the bathroom doing god knows what, but that didn't really matter. They would get ejected soon anyway. Everyone else had ran off in their respective pairs, apparently except for Brown and White. White had gone with Orange and Blue, leaving Brown a little lost around storage. They locked eyes and nodded as one.

"Stay here and behave," said Purple, though their tone was far less condescending and more of a grudging reluctance. So had Cyan really earned their respect after all? They puffed their chest out, but Purple just sighed and leapt into the vents to avoid dealing with them any further.

Purple was quick this time, in and out again in only a few seconds. "I stuffed their body on the highest rack," said Purple, flexing their arms. "No one should notice, at least until their corpse starts decomposing or they don't show up for lunch, whichever comes first."

Cyan squinted at Purple. "Aren't you supposed to be experienced? How don't you know that?"

"Everyone always has their fun fun little round of voting super quickly," Purple said dismissively. Then they made a big show of stomping out of the admin room and calling out to Orange, Blue and White. "Guys! We found Black! They're in the bathroom!" 

"What are we waiting for? Let's get them!" yelled White. 

So it was that Cyan and Purple shrugged and followed after the crewmates into the bathroom. "Black! Black! Black!" Orange yelled, raining fists on the bathroom stall incessantly. "Get out! We know you're in there!"

"Why? I'm a little busy here!" Black asked, annoyed but obviously trying to stay calm. 

"You killed Green!" Blue accused.

There was silence before Black said, "Firstly, Green's dead? Secondly, I'm literally just taking a shit. I have a bad stomach. I've been here for hours."

"Exactly!" roared White. "And we found Green's dead body _before_ hours, which means it must have been you!"

"What the fuck," said Black.

"Get out of there so we can eject you!"

"If I may." Purple stepped forward and simply yanked the door open with their superior alien strength. There was Black, sitting on the toilet bowl and now staring at everyone incredulously. 

"You guys - you can't be serious, there's no way I - at least hear me out -"

"We've heard everything we need to!"

"Yeah! It all lines up!"

"Get them!" 

The crewmates swarmed Black, lifting them up while they struggled to at least put their pants on. Cyan and Purple looked at each other, shrugged, and helped to hoist up each of Black's flailing legs. Black was swiftly loaded into an ejection pod and shot off into space, despite all of their hammering against the glass window of the pod.

"We did it!" cheered Blue. "The impostor's down -"

"Guys!" Lime panted, running into view with their partner Red. "Brown's dead! There was red stuff dripping on us in storage, we looked up, and there was Brown! Eaten right in half, stuffed up into the shelves!"

White, Orange and Blue paled as they looked at each other and then outside at the swirling stars. Cyan and Purple tried to copy them the best they were able to, despite trying desperately to hold back their laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really getting into the spirit of the game here


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and kudos, I’m grateful for every one of them!

They had all skipped, as expected. There was just not enough concrete evidence above all the yelling and blame.

“How do we know you aren’t the impostors?” White had yelled, pointing at Red and Lime. “You can’t even see the blood on Red’s suit!”

“That’s kinda obvious why, idiot!” Red had retaliated.

“Well, it couldn’t have been any of us here, we were throwing Black out the ship!” Blue had pointed out, frowning. 

“Are we all absolutely sure it wasn’t Black?” Cyan had asked.

“No.” Orange had still been watching the ejection pod slowly fade from view. “Man, Black really was taking a shit.”

“They didn’t even get to wipe their ass,” White had said sadly.

“All of us were accounted for except for Lime and Red,” Purple had said, feigning confusion. “And none of us had approached storage all day except for you two.”

“Yeaaaaahhh,” White had said, stroking their chin.

“Okay, but we didn’t do anything! I told you, we walked in and Brown was right there!” Lime had protested.

“Yeah, and then when I tried to get a closer look they fell on me! Ewww!” Red had screamed.

“Fine. Let’s hold off on a vote… until we can decide which of you it is!” Blue had jabbed their finger right in Lime’s chest.

“It’s Red,” White had muttered.

“At least suspect me for an actual reason!”

“So you’re admitting you’re the killer?”

“You want a repeat of the Black ejection situation? Sounds pretty suspicious to me!”

Eventually, everyone had agreed to wait until more evidence surfaced. Each crew member had split up, grumbling and glaring at each other.

Now, an hour to lunch time, Cyan was sliding into the seat next to Purple in the cafeteria. Purple narrowed their eyes and squeezed their coffee cup harder. Cyan smirked at their reaction. 

"Is there something you want to tell me," Purple said testily.

"You screwed up, you fucking screwed up, you're fucking screwed," Cyan sang, laughing when Purple hissed and slammed their fist down on the table.

"How was I supposed to calculate the haphazard angle of blood dripping from Brown's corpse?"

"I don't know. Aren't you _experienced_?" Cyan wiggled their eyebrows.

Purple looked away with an irritated growl. "Are you here just to rub it in or do you actually want something from me?"

"What if what I want is to rub it in?"

"Then fuck off."

"Come on, how many ships have you even sabotaged?” Cyan laughed, waving their fingers around. “One, two, three, four, five? Rookie mistake, even for me.”

“...three.”

Cyan actually jerked back in shock, half because Purple had actually answered them and because _three_? Purple was looking away, so it had to be true. That was like… just triple Cyan’s streak. Or just two more. Or just add one and then double that.

“You, uh, why?” Cyan asked, gesticulating wildly and trying to signal the point of their question. “You, uh, stick up your ass. You know.”

Purple studied Cyan long and hard. Cyan was honestly unsure if they had even heard the question by the time thirty seconds had passed. Had Purple zoned out? Cyan got their answer when Purple looked back at the styrofoam cup in their hands and muttered, “I wanted to impress you.”

Cyan was staring. They were sure Purple knew they were staring. “You? Me? We? Hate each other?” Their mouth was gaping as they pointed at Purple and back at themself over and over again.

“ _We still do_! It was _not_ because I was fond of you, quite the opposite, in fact!” Purple snapped. “Some puny little runt comes on board the ship all gung ho and thinks they’re better at killing than I am? I worked hard to get to where I am now! I had to show you who was in charge there.”

Cyan was gawking now. “You, uh, kinda suck at it?”

“For fuck’s sake, I’ve figured that out already.” Purple sighed and covered their helmet shapeshifted head thing with one hand - for good reason, because it was actually somehow tinted pink. “So I’m sharing this with you now, you know, because the jig’s up and all that. So stop sputtering like a moron! It’s not that surprising, you fool.”

Cyan closed their mouth. “O-okay,” they said, silently mortified that they had to agree with Purple that they were acting a tad strange. Was this really worth getting this flustered over? “So, uh. Plan. Need plan.”

“Ughhhhh, come up with one yourself, you useless free rider.” It looked as though steam was fogging up Purple’s pinkish helmet. Cyan really had no clue if that really was glass by then, or Purple was more embarrassed than they were letting on. 

Cyan finally decided to ease their suffering, only because their embarrassment was starting to make _them_ embarrassed as well. “I mean, you weren’t lying,” they tried. “You do have two missions worth of experience over me. I really believed you. That’s why I was so surprised. Come on, just get your shit together for now.”

Purple finally lifted their head up to look at Cyan, but didn’t reply for a few moments. Leaning forward, they whispered at last, “I say we frame Lime and Red, make them look suspicious, get White, Orange, and Blue on our side.”

“When?”

“Not today at least.” Purple shrugged and took another sip of their coffee. They made a face. “Today’s been eventful enough. We need to let suspicion build up.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah. Makes sense.” Cyan fidgeted awkwardly. “So uh, now what do we do?”

Purple thought for a while. “We should walk around and fake our tasks.”

“Uh, just do them, man, they’re not that hard.”

“I’d out myself in the med bay, be locked out of admin because I don’t have your fingerprints, and I’ll make a mess of shields because I don’t have the proper training. Are you insane?” Purple gave Cyan a look.

“Oh, right.” Cyan chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t know, I could just… show you for the less obvious ones. You know, uploads and wires. We don’t need many. We just need people to see us working together.”

Purple was blinking rapidly under their helmet. Was that human surprise or some alien morse code? Cyan couldn’t tell. 

“Okay,” said Purple softly.

“Okay,” echoed Cyan blankly.

Purple abruptly stood and grabbed their coffee. “I’d better see you in admin later, brat. And I expect you to be good at these tasks.” Purple tossed the cup into the trash along the way, leaving Cyan’s sight.

Cyan watched Purple go, wondering why they didn’t just ask them to go with them, before their stomach rumbled, reminding them that it was lunch time. _Purple actually remembered even though they’re an alien,_ thought Cyan, smiling as the others began streaming in.


	6. Chapter 6

As it turned out, Purple was clumsier than Cyan had thought. They did fine picking and choosing which files to upload to the network, scanning Cyan in med bay, and clearing the o2 filters, but when it came to the wires? Calibrating the distributors? And even -

“Oh stop your guffawing,” Purple grumbled, stubbornly refusing to look at Cyan as they fumbled with the card reader. "My true form's not made for this, that's all. If I didn't need your help I'd be on the opposite side of the ship away from you."

Cyan ignored the beeps of the scanner. This was the tenth time Purple was swiping it, and they genuinely seemed to be struggling. So it was kind of like when Cyan tried to write with their left hand. For murdery purposes they had been trained ambidextrous of course, but if anyone paid attention to the curves of the words they wrote with their left, they were rather uneven.

But, well, Cyan hadn’t even thought swiping cards was even a hand-eye coordination thing. Or maybe Purple genuinely couldn't hold weapons or the like, hence why they depended on their body’s natural weapons. Tentacles covered in scales and slime did seem a little awkward for grip.

Finally, because Purple looked about ready to rip the card reader out and throw it out the airlock, Cyan stepped forward and gripped Purple’s hand. “Like this,” they instructed, moving it across the reader at the right speed. "Seriously? You couldn't do that?" 

Purple didn't reply, and Cyan felt a very ominous aura pressing into their skin, making them sweat and their heart leap into their throat. It was a few awkward moments, and Cyan wondered if Purple could feel their sweaty palms through their gloves. Well, maybe not, because now they were clenching it into a fist. Cyan was about to open their mouth and apologise when they were cut off by Purple wrenching their hand out of their grasp and glaring at them.

"Don't touch me," Purple said lowly, looking away and rubbing their arms.

Cyan groaned and placed a hand over their visor. “Oh come on! You needed help, mate.”

“You could’ve just told me to swipe at that speed.”

Cyan rolled their eyes. “The _card reader_ tells you. Unless you’re also telling me you can’t read?”

Apparently having run out of excuses, Purple pocketed their card and stalked off, muttering something under their breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Can’t believe a certified idiot is better at this shit than I am, this is so embarrassing.”

"Come the fuck on!" Cyan ran to keep pace with the alien's inhumanly fast pace. "Don't be a sore loser, alright? I've got shit over you, you've got shit over me on this crappy scoreboard."

"You're really still keeping track," Purple stated in a murderous tone.

"Have you forgotten the point of all this?"

Cyan grinned and placed their palm over their chest, standing up straighter. Given Purple was still taller, this attempt to be dominating failed. Purple simply sighed and grumbled, "It had not slipped my mind, no."

"Yeah, see." Cyan pulled out a notepad and a pen from their breast pocket and started scribbling. "You have a cool alien murder tongue," they whispered, "you can vent, you're only kind of dumb -"

"Cyan," Purple explained in a faux-patient tone that just oozed mockery, "When everyone else on the ship has one brain cell, you don't get points for having two." They smiled, exposing their razor sharp teeth.

"Well, yeah, but you don't get points for having three!" Cyan scowled and pointed the pen at Purple as though it was a knife. "Did you seriously think I wouldn't notice your incompetency?"

Purple shrugged. "Well, yeah, for obvious reasons."

"Oh, is that so, you…" Cyan struggled to come up with an insult. "Card-unswiperer!"

"Card unswipement thereof is _not_ because I'm an idiot, shithead," Purple hissed, stepping closer so they were face to visor. Jabbing their index finger into Cyan's chest, they continued, "You try living most of your life without fingers and opposable thumbs and then having to pick up those skills in _days_! I'd say I'm doing very well!"

Cyan wasn't going to give in that easily. "Well then, how the hell have you never thought to learn it before?"

"This is my fourth mission!" Purple whisper-yelled back, their fake shapeshifted visor growing pink again. "I'd say I am, in fact, right on schedule!"

"But fifteen times?" Cyan didn't even know what the point of this argument was anymore. So obviously, they doubled down, gesturing agitatedly in the direction of admin. "Seriously?"

"Yes seriously!" 

"No seriously!"

"Yes seriously!" Purple clapped a hand over their mouth, looking mortified. "Now you've gotten me to stoop to your childish insults," they snapped, stomping away in the direction of storage. "I hate everything about you."

"You're just upset because I actually have charisma and all you are is a bunch of hot air!" Cyan called after Purple. 

This went ignored. 

Cyan let out a big irritated huff before they were dashing after Purple once more, skidding into storage. "Oh my god, stop, stop, stop," Cyan yelled, waving their arms around like crazy. Purple, despite themself, followed instructions. They looked at Cyan questioningly, lifting up the three quarters empty fuel can.

Cyan sighed, closed their eyes, and buried their face in their hands. "Listen, Purple, do you know what that is?"

"...a beverage?"

"No, that's our fuel! Don't just throw it out the garbage chute!"

"Oh." Purple had the decency not to argue for once, simply stepping away from the lever and letting the chute shut.

Cyan breathed out. "Yes, okay, buddy, if we throw out our fuel we'll all die, see? We need to save all of it."

"Smells good," Purple said, bringing it to their face and sniffing it.

Cyan shuddered. "Nooooo, oh my god I can barely stand it."

"Weak survival instincts you got there," Purple remarked, curiously swiping a lone drop of oil on the side of the canister with their finger. They brought it to their mouth, licking it curiously a few times. Also Cyan should not be standing here watching this, more actual tasking, damn it.

"Empty the garbage already!" Cyan yelped, more loudly than they meant to.

Purple paused in their kitten licks and turned to Cyan, confused. "You just told me not to do it."

"No - I… no, not the _fuel_ , the garbage is not the fuel," Cyan groaned, slapping the head of their helmet. "The garbage is garbage. The fuel is fuel."

Purple seemed genuinely perplexed now. They sighed, then said in a way too high-pitched voice, "Please try again, and try to use proper sentences." But of course they still had to be a dick about it.

Cyan, without thinking, grabbed Purple's hand again, placing it firmly on the lever and pulling it down. "Now _this_ is the garbage," Cyan perhaps said, because honestly even they had no idea what the hell their brain was on anymore. 

So doped up on dopeamine or whatever was Cyan that they honestly hadn't predicted Purple to forcibly pluck their hand out of their grasp. They stumbled over, grasping their now aching wrist, as Purple glowered at them. "I told you to stop grabbing me!" Purple snapped, flicking their own hand as if Cyan's gloves were laced with poison.

Cyan clenched their fists, returning Purple's glare with equal ferocity. "I would not have to if you could do your fucking job without adult supervision!"

"You're the one showing me how to do this shit!" Purple was all up in Cyan's personal space again, grabbing them by their shoulders, gripping them harshly. Underneath their helmet, their 'human' mouth split open to reveal their black, pointy tongue, and their eyes glowed. " _You're_ the one who can't do their damn job!"

In the distance, the crewmates were checking the security cameras. 

"Are they sus?" White asked, leaning forward.

Orange shrugged. "Nah, they're innocent, look at how enthusiastic they both are about their tasks."


	7. Chapter 7

Cyan was, quite frankly, exhausted from having to deal with Purple's shit. And the feeling was mutual, it seemed. It was dinner time now, and the two were having an intense silent staring match over their food packages. Purple was clenching their styrofoam coffee cup in their hand while Cyan looked about ready to skewer Purple with their plastic fork. 

Even the crewmates were starting to pick up on the tension between the two.

"Guys," White finally said, flinching when both turned to glare at them instead. "Are you two... not getting along?"

"No," they said as one. Then, offended by this synced reply, Cyan gave Purple the finger. Purple gave them two.

"Well… I know I'm not Green, but..." Blue fiddled with their fingers. "Do you two want to switch buddies? It might help you two be in a better mood, get more tasks done -"

"No." Oh god they were doing the thing again. Cyan wondered if they frowned any deeper if they would actually end up squeezing their eyes shut.

"Uh. Why not?" Orange asked, looking between Purple and Cyan.

"They're obviously the impostors, guys," said Red, scoffing, and Cyan froze. "They need to work together even though they hate each other."

"No, that's stupid," White retorted. "With all of their arguing you could hear them coming a mile away! There's no way they can kill anyone like that!"

"Yeah, Red, you're obviously just trying to deflect suspicion off yourself!" Orange pointed two fingertips at their own eyes. "I'm watching you."

"You know what, I don't even care anymore," Red groaned.

"Anyway, so why not make it easier for yourselves?" Blue asked again, clapping their hands together to bring attention back to the topic.

There was a pause while Cyan and Purple exchanged glances, looked back at Blue, then back to each other again.

"If I let Cyan out of my sight they'd trouble you with their stupidity," Purple finally said.

"Oh, what about _you_ and your shitty card swiping skills?" Cyan protested.

"How many times?" Blue asked.

"Fifteen! They took _fifteen!_ " Cyan's voice was high-pitched, almost hysterical. Gesturing to Purple wildly, they demanded, "Do you believe this crap exists!?"

"I mean, it took me twenty times to swipe _my_ card, so I think I would believe Purple here," said Blue, completely unaffected. "Don't worry, Cyan, I'd be happy to teach you how to do your tasks! There's nothing to be embarrassed about!"

Cyan was speechless. Even Purple could not help giggling into their hands.

"Oh, Purple can partner up with me!" Orange said happily, snapping their fingers at Blue.

"Hey, hey, hey, who said we were splitting up?" Cyan waved their arms in front of the crewmates.

Orange blinked. "But, uh, why wouldn't you want to?"

"Cyan is a troublesome child," Purple said, rolling their eyes, "Leave them to me." 

"Purple is an arrogant prick," Cyan seethed. "I need to keep an eye on them."

Everyone stared and stared and stared until Cyan and Purple were shrinking under the attention. "What?" Purple finally dared to ask.

"Uh, you guys know that those aren't legit reasons, right?" Orange timidly pointed out.

"Who's to say they aren't?" Cyan grit out between their teeth. "Maybe I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart."

"You want some actual reasons, fine!" Purple snapped. Cyan was caught off guard when one of Purple's large arms found its way around their shoulders. "They're patient, kind of, and skilled at… their tasks! Right. It's, uh, cool. Cyan, is, uh… surprisingly not judgemental, as well. And they, they have goals, and they really believe in themselves… and, uh..." Purple trailed off. For the first time, Cyan could see a real, proper blush on their deceptively human-looking face.

Cyan honestly didn't know how to react to what they had said, and judging by how Purple looked like they wanted to eject themself off the ship, neither did they. That wasn't even taking into account how many times Purple had slipped up during that tirade. That wasn't at all like normal, smooth, witty Purple. And judging by the crew's glances, even they realised something was off.

"Same to you," Cyan finally said, realising that everyone except Purple was expecting a response. Or maybe they were but they were too busy trying to die. Cyan felt heat radiating off their own skin, and their heart leaping at a hundred miles per hour. Damn the stress of this situation. This was worse than murder. Cyan had half a mind to kill everyone at the table right now.

In any case, Purple was apparently ignoring Cyan again. The grip on their shoulder was almost painfully digging into Cyan's flesh. The silence trailed on awkwardly after the admission.

At least, until Lime wheezed loudly, trying and failing to muffle their laughter. "Oh my - oh my god," they managed to get out. "Guys, we're all blind. They don't want to stick together to do tasks, they want to do _each other._ "

A longer silence.

Cyan stood up, unscrewed the lid on their orange juice, and poured it all over Lime's hair. Lime didn't seem to care, though, and their loud cackles could be heard even as Cyan stormed off in the direction of their bunks, food forgotten. They stopped, however, when they heard another pair of footsteps joined theirs.

"We are killing Lime next," Cyan muttered darkly.

Cyan heard a loud sigh being heaved. "As much as I would love to," Purple muttered, "that would be far too obvious right now."

"Framing?" Cyan asked as Purple moved forward to join them, matching their pace.

"I'd wager that it's still a risky course of action," Purple surmised.

Man, Cyan really would have to wait longer to take sweet, sweet revenge. Cyan forced themself to take a deep breath and think rationally, to ignore all the swirling embarrassment and rage and… other shit.

"...Blue?"

Purple shrugged, though it seemed a little defensive. "Yeah, I guess they had it coming. Better to get rid of them before someone says 'vote Blue' and they vote you off instead."

"Right, right."

They stood there, awkwardly, right in front of Cyan's bunks but neither daring to move for some reason. Finally, Cyan dropped their gaze to their feet and said, "Thanks for standing up for me."

"...yeah," Purple said slowly, turning around and heading in the direction of their own bunk. "Don't trip and fall in the night without me."

As soon as Purple faded from view, Cyan slammed the door shut, locked it, and then sat down in front of it, ready for a good ol' mental crisis.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, Blue turned up dead. Cyan was the one who called the meeting.

“Oh my god, guys, they’re dead,” Cyan wailed, hugging themself. “Who could have done this? Blue was so nice to me! They even offered to help me with my tasks! I’ll miss them so much!”

White was sniffling and Orange had been looking suspiciously at Lime and Red the whole time. “Where were you two?” Orange asked finally.

“In bed.” Lime shrugged and Red just gave everyone the most unimpressed look ever.

“Let’s throw Red out first,” White said, amidst their hiccups and tears. “Then Lime.”

It was a unanimous vote. Red found themself simply resigned to their fate as they were thrown out the airlock. Everyone stopped to watch the bodies of Blue and Red float by in space, before finally disappearing out of sight.

“Oh well, back to tasks,” said Orange cheerily.

Purple had found Cyan afterwards in the admin room, a questioning look on their face. Cyan just slapped their forehead, well, helmet. “Listen, pal,” Cyan said lowly, miming a neck snap, “I just _had_ to murder someone slowly and painfully. You don’t get to judge, jerk.”

“I wasn’t judging.” Still, Purple took one step back for some reason. “I just wanted to know how you did it at night. You didn’t even ask for my help.”

“I got them at the cafeteria trying to get some water,” Cyan muttered under their breath, flexing their fingers. “They had turned some lights on. All I needed was to grab my knife, stab them in the heart, then their neck, then their wrists, then their entire abdomen. Then I snapped all of their bones, their neck, their arms… god I just fucking wish it was Lime instead.”

“Are you… okay?” Even Purple was giving them a weird look. Fuck that. “Protocol is not to play with our kills.”

“Okay, but consider this.” Cyan snapped their fingers at Purple. “I was feeling pretty upset.”

“After what Lime said yesterday?”

“Duh.” Cyan moved away from Purple, staring at the completion bar of the uploading files. They refused to elaborate any further, hoping Purple would go away, because honestly, Cyan did not know how to approach the issue right now.

But it seemed Purple did not get the memo. They stepped forward until they were an arm’s length behind Cyan, fidgeting. Cyan tried to signal out of the corner of their eye, but they didn’t move. Damn aliens and their weird body language.

“Spit it out already,” Cyan finally said.

And even with that invitation, Purple hesitated a while more before they asked quietly, “You, uh, really hate me that much?"

Damn it, how was Cyan supposed to answer this when Purple looked actually… hurt?

"I don't know. I thought you did." Cyan chose to try to breach the topic carefully. "You're the one who antagonized me first, remember?"

"Right." Purple's eyes remained stubbornly on the hallway outside admin. "But I guess after a while I thought maybe we were… friends." Purple said that word as if it pained them to do so.

Cyan felt bitter. "Do friends argue this much?" Upload done. Cyan tapped randomly on the screen, trying to make it look like they were busy. "Why _do_ we argue this much?"

"I don't know," Purple replied truthfully. "I really did hate your guts at first. Then you weren't absolutely horrible, and you saved me from Green, and I…" Purple shuddered at the thought. "Latched on to… you… after that."

"Is that an alien thing?" Cyan asked, genuinely curious.

"I guess." The tone of Purple's voice left no room for discussion.

"Okay, dingus, if you like me so much what's with all the yelling?"

"I... didn't want to give in to my instincts?" Purple sounded like they really were unsure. Whether it was how Cyan would take it or they just couldn't deal with themself was up for debate.

So, of course, Cyan chose to brush it aside for now. "Other than whatever that means?"

An expression of gratitude crossed Purple's face briefly before they continued, "I don't know, it's just… you? I don't know why my brain picked you. I mean. I do, but. This entire thing's just so embarrassing. Maybe I just took it out on you, because I didn't know what to do about my… emotions. I don't know if this will even pass. Maybe I thought if I denied it enough it would disappear."

Cyan blinked. "Okay, uh, sorry, but I really think you're going to need to explain your species instinct thing. I'm not following."

Purple had a look of dread on their face now. "When we… Pink and Yellow, you know, I warmed up to you, my brain stopped thinking of you as an enemy," they said, choosing their words carefully. "So, uh, an acquaintance. I think that's your word."

"Uh… huh?"

"And. Well." Purple really seemed to be suffering under Cyan's intense stare. "You… the meteorite. Green. Instinct told me, you know, here is someone potentially strong enough to protect you."

Cyan waited for Purple to elaborate before they realised they were not going to. "So?" Cyan frowned in thought. "I don't see what this has to do with anything."

"Damn it you're really going to make me spell it out for you." Purple sighed, looked Cyan dead in the eyes and said, "My brain thinks you're a potential mate now."

Cyan stared. Purple stared back.

"Wow," Cyan finally said after… maybe a minute. "That's, uh…"

"I don't know what to do about it!" Purple suddenly exploded. "The worst thing is this is relatively common, you know? Lots of just potentials out there. But _you're_ making me feel differently and I'm…" Purple cut themself off with a shuddering breath. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do! It's weird and I hate it. We're not even the same species!"

"Man, I'm… sorry I was too nice?" Cyan said blankly, still at a loss for words.

"I mean, I know humans work differently. Just reject me and we can both move on." Despite themself, Purple soured at that suggestion.

Did Cyan _want_ to reject Purple?

Cyan took a few moments to gather their thoughts. Leaned against the wall for support, they crossed their arms and said, "Well, you're right that humans don't have your… hormone thing."

"No, no, the entire problem is this goes beyond 'a hormone thing'," Purple grumbled. They were on the floor now, huddled in on themself.

"I mean… you're not so bad yourself." Cyan sat down beside Purple. "You're a strategist, you know the best tactics to keep suspicion off ourselves. You, uh, trusted me. And I know you… sort of care? In your own way."

Purple lifted their head up at that, looking at Cyan cautiously.

Cyan sighed, settling in closer to Purple. "I'm just saying, like, the few times you aren't being a bastard I like joking with you. You haven't noticed that I join you when I'm bored?"

Purple looked confused. "Who else would you talk to on this ship? Everyone else is brain dead."

"Oh, okay, now _you're_ making me spell it out, you big idiot." Cyan twiddled their thumbs, feeling awkward and hot all over. "Look, we can at least _try_. After this mission, we can work out what we want to do, right?"

"But I'm going back home," said Purple in a small voice.

"I was planning to as well," Cyan admitted, "but you can't just drop that bomb on me and expect me to just let you go. You said once you needed the money?"

Purple looked happy for a brief moment before they cleared their throat and shrugged. "Yeah, well, gotta live somehow."

"Yeah, same. I should come with you," Cyan said, sitting up straighter. "We could team up in the future. Would they let us?"

"Yeah. The logic goes, if it's proven we can work well together, why not? I teamed up with a Tan twice before they were found out and ejected into space," said Purple, reminiscing. "It was nice working with them."

"So… I come with you," said Cyan, pointed at Purple, "and we see how it goes, and if it doesn't work out I can return to earth?"

"You'd want to come with me?" Purple asked, somehow still in disbelief.

Cyan shrugged. "Well, yeah, I find aliens tend to be more familiar with humans then vice versa."

"Yeah," said Purple softly, smiling now, as Cyan took the jump and leaned against them. "That sounds good."

At that moment, static crackled to life. "Attention, crew, we've got a serious case of _gaaaay_ in the admin room," Lime's voice announced over the intercom. "Please be reminded to avoid it for the rest of the day. If only we had audio here in security!"

Cyan and Purple looked at each other.

"I'll spear their head," Purple growled, standing up.

"If you do that, how will I snap their neck?" Cyan asked, smirking.

"You can snap _White's_ after this," Purple said, petting the dust off themself. "I'm going for Orange."

"Oh, going for a double kill again, are we?" Cyan asked, palming the gun they had been itching to use for the entire trip.

Purple grinned darkly. "It's a cute first date idea, don't you think?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one's the finale guys


	9. Chapter 9

If only Lime hadn't left to make popcorn.

The instant they walked back into the security room, Cyan locked the doors and Purple sprang out of the vents. Lime had a second to process this before the tip of Purple's sharp tongue had completely shattered their helmet and skull.

"I can still do it better," Cyan scoffed as Lime's lifeless body fell over. 

Purple shrugged and shifted back into their human form. They eyed Cyan distastefully, who had taken a moment to eat one of the popcorn kernels strewn all over the floor. "You're just saying that because you're still jealous of my abilities."

"Oh, but can you do _this_?" Hijacking the computer, Cyan got the intercom to work. "Orange! White! Come to security right now!" they called out desperately. "Lime was the impostor all along! They're going to kill me! Please help me!"

"Nice work," Purple commented as the doors unlocked themselves, sliding apart just in time for Cyan to hear thundering footsteps coming their way.

"Observe," Cyan said, whisking the gun out of their pocket in one smooth motion. Orange and White skidded into the room, confused upon seeing Lime's bloody body on the ground.

"Cyan?" Orange grabbed White, terrified.

"Purple?" White hugged them back, eyes wide in terror.

Cyan shot first. Orange backed away, horrified as White fell over, blood trickling out of their chest. Purple was having none of it, however. Slithering up behind Orange, their true monstrous form ripped Orange's head off, chewing and swallowing it in one gulp.

"Hot," Cyan commented, walking forward.

"You really are a freak," Purple scoffed, their voice now distorted and very obviously inhuman. Several of their tentacles jabbed at the corpses idly.

"That's a weird way to pronounce 'better impostor than you'," Cyan retorted, standing on tip toes to meet Purple face to face. At least, that was probably their face. The one eye with a large mouth lined with rows upon rows of sharp teeth.

"I killed one more than you did," Purple said smugly.

"I got Red voted out."

"Votes don't count." 

"Yes, they do, it just means I'm way more intelligent than you."

"You know what, maybe you are." Purple made some strange gesture, all of their tentacles rippling at once and a unique rumbling sound oozing from their… chest? Was that their chest? The center where their many tentacles were spouting from, and a second jaw gaped open?

"I'm sorry, I can't read you right now," Cyan said after trying and failing to decode what it meant.

"I did something mushy, so thank fuck," said Purple, slipping back into human form. They lugged Orange and White's corpses under each arm. "Come on, grab Lime and we can shove all this out the airlock."

Cyan was still no match for Purple's strength, so by the time they caught up White and Orange were already floating outside. "After you," said Purple, bowing as they held the door open.

"Aw, how sweet of you." Cyan grinned maniacally, hoisting Lime's body up with both hands and throwing them outside. Purple shut the door and locked it, dusting themselves off.

"So, now what do we do?" Cyan asked, looking outside at the starry galaxy.

"I'm heading to navigation to adjust the course of this ship back home," Purple said, walking away, obviously expecting Cyan to follow.

"Let me get this straight," Cyan said flatly, ticking off the items on their fingers. "You can't do the garbage, you can't swipe your card, but you can pilot a ship?"

"I'm getting the impression that compared to you, back home we focused more on killing than outsmarting the crew," Purple said dismissively, stepping into the captain's seat. “But, you know, knowing how to hijack a ship back home is crucial.”

"I'm expected to believe you just figured out manipulation tactics on your own?"

"Well, yes." Purple seemed way too happy about that.

Cyan could do nothing, so they just leaned against the walls and sighed. "Ugh, I am so making you practice how to do tasks properly once we get there."

"Looking forward to it," came Purple's reply.

Man, Cyan was not used to this. The _agreeing_. Still, it was probably best for both of them if they learned how to have a functional dynamic with each other. It had already gotten better ever since Purple had stopped being a pissy bitch about their hormones.

 _No thanks to you,_ the voice in Cyan’s head whispered, but they pushed it aside. 

Cyan watched as Purple punched in coordinates to a planet. It appeared on the screen as a red ball, and smoke was rising from the center of it. Purple confirmed the course with a flourish and turned to Cyan. "So, it'll be a week or so before we arrive," they informed them.

"Man, I was so excited for the actual visit and all that, now I gotta wait," said Cyan, leaning forward to squint at the strange planet. "Okay, shove off, let me tell my boss I've finished the job."

"And half of it was me," Purple said pointedly.

"I'm not telling them that, brainiac," Cyan snapped, hacking into the ship's communications. "I'll get like half the money."

"You know what, that's actually a good reason. Fine." Purple observed Cyan's furious message typing in interest. "How long will this take?"

"I'm done," Cyan said, giving Purple a look. "See? Better. Impostor."

Purple just held their hands up. "I concede. Having fingers is useful."

"They are, in fact." Cyan grinned up at them. "Wanna see a neat trick?"

"No,” Purple said immediately.

Time to bust out the big guns. Cyan gave Purple their best pleading cute innocent look. "Please? I know you’ll like it."

Purple eyed Cyan doubtfully before they finally nodded. Cyan grabbed Purple's hand in theirs then, twining their fingers together. 

"This is a thing humans do," said Cyan, feeling smug that Purple looked like they were about to melt. “It’s an expression of affection.” Cyan themself felt warm, but it was a good kind of warm.

"Ah, like… like this?" they asked, sounding oddly shy. Bashfulness was a good look on Purple. Purple, who was averting their gaze and not addressing the red creeping up their neck. "For how long?"

"It's been a few seconds. Chill," said Cyan, laughing. "We have all week."

"I guess we do," said Purple calculatively. They ducked their head, then, asking awkwardly, "Do you want to… get some coffee with me?"

"I hate coffee," Cyan replied, though they stood up and allowed Purple to lead them in the direction of the cafeteria anyway.

"I knew it," Purple said, sighing. "You really are a horrible little brat."

"And you really are a huge egotistical prick," said Cyan, squeezing Purple's hand.

Purple didn’t seem keen on separating, but they did it anyway upon seeing the drinks dispenser. "So, who won our little competition, actually?" Purple asked, pouring a plastic cup of orange juice for Cyan.

"Well, I don't know..." Cyan accepted the offering, taking their helmet off. They looked up to Purple and gave them a crafty smirk. "What do you say to a rematch on board the next ship?"

“Okay, but be prepared for me to murder twice as many crewmates as you will,” said Purple, pouring a cup of coffee for themself.

“You sure you can back that up? Don’t trip and fall over that tongue of yours.” Just because, Cyan stuck their own tongue out at Purple and pulled an eyelid down.

Purple narrowed their eyes. “You’re just saying that because I’m better at this murder business and you know it.”

“You don’t get to say that to me and my weapon collection.” Cyan leaned forward with the fire of challenge in their eyes. “Oh, I know, you’re just scared I’ll beat you again.”

“I wasn’t even aware you beat me the first time,” Purple said, raising an eyebrow and moving closer to Cyan in interest.

“Exactly.” Cyan took a sip of their drink, satisfied. “I’ll just have to prove it thoroughly on our next mission, then.”

Purple grinned back, exposing their sharp, jagged fangs. "Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of the murder space gays. For now, maybe.
> 
> Thanks for all your comments, kudos, and bookmarks!


	10. Side Story: Ghost Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested by lime/yangmingsin!

"Orange?"

It was dark. How strange.

"They'll be fine. It took me a long time, too."

Didn't something… happen?

"I didn't even know we could still be _unconscious!_ "

The last thing Orange remembered had been sharp teeth pricking at their skin, immeasurable pain shooting up their nerves as their body was _crunched_ between that monstrous jaw.

"I'm not going to bother waiting! This is taking too long!" And the next moment something _cold_ pried Orange's eyelids apart and light suddenly flooded their vision.

Oh, wait, no, that was just their semi-translucent crewmate White holding their eyes open.

...wait, _what_?

"White!" Orange screeched, jerking away from their touch. A moment later, they realised they had gravely miscalculated the push, for now they were about to barrel into the very hard, very solid security wall. Orange winced and clenched their eyes shut again, bracing for impact.

It never came. There was only a soft tingling sensation starting from their back, spreading outwards in their body. Daring to open their eyes again, Orange realised, to their horror, that they were _in_ the wall.

"Help! Help!" they screamed, struggling to no avail before they realised something distinctly off about their own anatomy. Glancing down, Orange flinched when they realised their legs were gone, replaced with… floaty, bedsheety, transparent looking stuff.

"Orange, calm down," said White, holding their hands up as a gesture of peace. "Just… just relax, and you can get out of there, slowly and steadily -"

"I'll handle it." Someone new spoke up behind Orange. Before they could even turn to check they felt a fist collide with the square of their back. Orange let out a yelp even as they popped free of the wall's confines.

And someone Orange never thought they'd ever see again, Black, swam up in the air to meet them. Their glittering eyes were narrowed in a truly venomous glare. "Fuck you."

"What was that for?" Orange protested, backing away.

"For _ejecting_ me into space with no evidence, you idiot!"

"Oh," said Orange, realisation finally settling in. "You… are you Black's ghost?"

"You're a ghost as well, Orange," said someone else to their right. Orange shrieked as their former captain just _popped_ into existence like that after that sentence, looking very amused.

"Holy shit, is everyone here?" Orange wondered out loud, trembling.

"Yeah, hi," said Pink sympathetically, materialising just below Orange. "How'd you die?"

"We had been trying to yell at all of you idiots here that it was Cyan and Purple since the beginning!" Yellow said a moment later, appearing behind Pink.

"You have to admit there was still a lack of evidence at the beginning," said Green with a sigh, reclining in mid-air. "Cyan got me at night, caught me off guard. Well played."

"Cyan got _me_ too!" Blue shrieked, sticking their head through the computer monitor. "They killed me and then claimed to _miss_ me, that two-faced bitch!"

"And _I_ got ejected for walking into Brown's corpse!" Red exclaimed, glaring at everyone. They stopped to consider before adding, "And having a red suit! Seriously?"

"Well I'm sorry for… for dying," Brown mumbled under their breath, prodding their fingers together.

"It's not your fault for getting seperated, Brown," said Red with a smile before their expression shifted back to one of absolute anger. "If anyone's at fault it's fucking _Lime_ here for matchmaking the serial killers!"

"Exactly!" Yellow roared. "If you had just let them drag out their stupid sexual tension you could have gotten away safely!"

"To be fair," said Lime, descending from the ceiling, "I also thought it was Red."

"Are you _kidding_ me right now?" Red stared at Lime, incredulous. "You were with me when we found Brown dead!"

"Well, I looked away for like a second, maybe you had Purple's murder tongue thing, who knows."

"I… you… I… fuck -" Red buried their head in their hands and let out a long groan. "God, my fucking head hurts."

"I don't see what the issue is," said Lime cheerily, or rather Lime's bottom half sticking through the security ceiling. "They're cute together. Cyple or Puryan?"

"Are you seriously _watching_ those two right now?"

"Awww, but Purple's so shy and Cyan's such an enabler. It's adorable!"

"Ooh! Cyple," said Pink, clapping their hands.

"Puryan sounds like Persian and I hate cats," said Black, wrinkling their nose.

"Yeah, Cyple's cute," said Green, their hands behind their head now. 

"Are all of you nuts?" Red stared at Green in absolute betrayal.

"I'm perfectly sane," said Green dismissively, waving one hand around. "It's just that now I'm dead on the inside and the outside. Time to enjoy my un-life."

"Do you not care that you literally got your ass murdered by those two?" Red yelled as Lime's head stuck back out of the wall.

"But they did it _together_ ," said Lime dreamily.

"Alright, that's it, I'm out." As Orange watched, Red spontaneously disappeared from view. Yellow and Blue were quick to shake their head and follow suit.

"Where did they go?" Orange asked, curiosity now outweighing their previous fear.

"They're still on this ship, they just don't want to deal with us right now, so they're invisible," White replied. Looking Orange up and down, they asked, "You doing okay after the whole bisected thing?"

"Feels just like new." Orange wiggled their translucent ecto fingers. That would take some getting used to. They put their arms back down, adjusting to the new weightlessness of their current form.

"I think something's gonna happen, guys," Lime suddenly crowed, zipping through the walls in a burst.

"Oh, ew, no way, they're remorseless killers but I won't invade their privacy," said Brown, sticking their tongue out. "Someone spying on my date? Worse than death. I'd quite literally never get over it." 

"I don't see the harm in a little revenge," said Green with a smile of their own. And with that, they were gone as well. Brown sighed and disappeared from view.

"We could dump water on those two or something," said Black, snickering.

"Well, I would, but I can't seem to touch anything beyond the wires I was assigned to when I was alive," said Pink, staring down at their hands. "Maybe it has something to do with our unfinished business?"

"Damn it."

"Ah, well." White turned to Orange, reaching out to grab them by the hand. "We're dead until the universe explodes so we might as well have some fun," said White, giving a little shrug.

"So we _are_ spying?" Pink asked, flying around Orange and White in loops.

"Why not, let's just go already." With barely any visible effort, Black pushed them all through the walls. Orange was sent hurtling past security, medbay the cafeteria - no, _through_ , and the ticklishness made them have to stifle their laughter. Black stopped steering them around when they found Lime and Green's faint silhouettes watching from the ceiling of the weapons room.

"Shhh," Green ordered, even though there was no way Cyan and Purple below them could have heard anything anyway. 

Besides, to Orange, it didn't seem as though they were paying attention to anything but each other in the first place. Cyan had their hands around Purple's, who were trembling around the controls. Whether that was from unfamiliarity with them or because Cyan was sharing the seat with them wasn't very clear. Cyan had murdered White in front of Orange with a gun, but the way they guided Purple was… gentle, almost soothing.

"If you'd just _go away_ I could concentrate on this better," Purple was hissing, their face red and leaning into Cyan in a manner that didn't match their words.

"Hm." Cyan appeared to consider that for a moment before a grin broke across their face. "Nope."

" _Why?_ "

"I don't trust you not to shoot the wrong thing, man, you suck at this." Cyan grinned as Purple let out a half-hearted hiss and turned back to the glass window showing off the stars outside.

Orange looked back towards their fellow dead crewmates then. Lime, White and Pink were squealing while Green had a soft smile on their face. Black was slapping their head and groaning, "Just great, they're going to kill the next crew with _diabetes_."

If the impostors noticed anything amiss, they didn't comment on it. "Just like that," Cyan was murmuring now, trailing their fingers on the back of Purple's left hand. "Just press down like this, here."

Purple bit their lip, muttering something under their breath that didn't sound like any human language. They followed Cyan's instructions, though, and were successful in splitting apart a tiny asteroid at the edge of their field of vision.

"You did great," said Cyan, a warmth Orange had never heard in their voice before. Then Orange felt a gasp slip past their lips as Cyan tilted their head upwards and pressed a kiss to Purple's cheek.

Purple's reaction was definitely less then human, their entire body turning a shade of pink as their eyes blinked rapidly. When they finally found their voice, it was noticeably distorted as they asked, "You… I… uh, I… w-what… what was…"

"I'm gonna have so much fun teaching you what humans do to express affection," said Cyan, willfully ignorant at the fact their partner looked like they were going to die. Leaning back in a languid position, they gave Purple a teasing wink. "Come on, pull yourself together. There are still asteroids out there, hop to it."

"I-I need the vents," Purple finally managed to say, and with that they were bolting away from Cyan and between the grills of the vent cover. 

Cyan didn't look at all surprised, but they did let out a snicker and called out, "If you admit defeat, that means I won."

"No you fucking didn't!" Purple yelled from somewhere beneath the ship's floor.

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did!"

"I can't believe we let ourselves get assassinated by these idiots," said Green, shaking their head in amusement.

"But it was so worth it," Lime said excitedly, chewing on ghostly popcorn.

"Cyple," Orange finally weighed in, watching as a purple tentacle-arm suddenly lashed out of the vents. "Definitely Cyple."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want more of these two, there's a whole series now, whoops

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [alien imposters can't even give normal lovebites](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27012436) by [lime (orphan_account)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lime)




End file.
